In Loving Memory of My Dearest Papa, A. Trombini 1925-2021

 London, 29th March 2021

A Mio Carissimo Papa.

When I received the phone call that my Papa had died in his sleep I couldn't quite believe it, but I was grateful he went on in his own house, with his wife near him, quietly and dignified, as you wish everyone to go. My Papa, who lived nearly a century with an incredible amount of joy, vitality and creativity and most of all a lust for life and all it had to offer. An extraordinary life, well lived and enjoyed. A life in which he had seen so much, done so much, travelled so much and experienced so much. 

Born in the north of Italy in 1925 he lived through the war and had seen the rise and fall of fascism and all of the other many developments of the 20th and 21st century. These were things he told us about very often. He travelled all over the world when he was in the Navy. To finally get married to a beautiful girl in Edinburgh and have four lovely children, if I may say so myself.  But the details of his life are not the reason why I write this. Without a doubt, they are very interesting that goes without saying, especially if you lived a long and full life like my papa's. But what remains, apart from the large empty space he leaves behind is his legacy. 

My Papa was one of those extraordinary people you'll only meet once in your life and the fact that he was my Papa makes me very proud. A man with an unceasing energy and vitality, enormous creativity, who was relentlessly stylish, incredibly dignified and most importantly a man who was undefeatable in his optimism and his joyous outlook of life and all it had to offer. A man who lived his life to the fullest until the very last day.

Parents teach their children many things, and I hope for all children that all these things are good and full of love which will help them to excel in life and find the things they are looking for. I am unbelievably lucky with my parents. My parents and in this case my Papa, was the kind of parent who made a great impression on me as a child but even now as an adult. In the days after his passing, but especially whilst travelling to my parents house, a film played over and over in my head. A film which started in the early 90's from my earliest memories until the day I was making the hardest trip I ever made in my life. As I watched the scenes of my life pass and replayed my many memories, I realised a recurring feeling was surfacing, Pride. But certainly not in the vain sense of the word, a feeling of pride that had nothing to do with material achievement, but more so with emotional fulfillment and how he left the world and his family behind.  

People often get asked, what are the biggest lessons you've learnt in life? and what have your parents taught you?  In my case I'm happy to say a great number of things. Too many memories and things I have learned from them to share to be honest.  But recurring themes now I've really been thinking about it are Love, Individuality, Gratitude, Joy, Laughter and Beauty. It may sound like a cliché but they are all true, I have rarely found a picture of my papa where he didn't have an enormous smile on his face and enjoying the moment.  

The greatest gift my Papa gave us was that he taught all of us to always follow our hearts, as he had always done in his life. My Papa taught me to always follow my heart in whatever situation, to follow my intuition or gut feeling, whatever you want to call it. That the heart always leads you in the right direction no matter where you go in life. He taught us how to be individuals, never to be like anyone else. The importance of developing you own character, style, taste, interests and not to care too much about what other people do and what they think of you. A character trait which I can proudly say (without any arrogance) that has manifested greatly in my sisters and myself.  A strong sense of self worth and self love that has always kept us together as a family, forming a solid foundation to build on when I grew up and the freedom to be who I truly wanted to be. My Papa was always a great optimist, he never believed in giving up or giving in, no matter what he faced in life. Growing up he always said, 'c'è sempre un domani' there is always a tomorrow. 

My Papa taught me how to love the life you're living, how to be grateful for the things you have. It didn't matter if it were the wonderful holidays we went on as a family or the many suppers in lovely restaurants or just a simple cup of tea or coffee when in town. He taught us the Joie de Vivre and how to not take things for granted and how to always see the beauty in the things that surround you. My father was quite the aesthete. He adored beauty and the finer things in life. Be it a good bottle of wine or champagne, a nice book, a vintage car or a painting or music or clothes. He enjoyed all of those things enormously. And he and my mother shaped and filled our world with those things. Music was always a thing he greatly enjoyed. From the grand classic composers to Frank Sinatra and other crooners which he adored and we, his children do too as a consequence.  

My Papa, who was as a rule much older than my contemporaries grandfathers and never looked nor acted his age. He was still playing football with his grandsons at the age of 90 and it was only in the last couple of months of his life that he really slowed down, albeit delicately scented and beautifully dressed. This gap of generations made him all the more different and interesting from other fathers and grandfathers and gave me a different perspective on life. This is something I've always valued greatly but has also made life difficult at times, feeling somewhat disconnected from other people of my age. But ultimately something I cherish greatly. What kept my father young, apart from his family, grand children and his Bianchi Bicycle was his great curiosity for almost everything. Apart from being a very intelligent man he was curious about most things in life and devoured book after book after book, his library was his pride and joy. His great passions were Ancient Rome and Greece but also space funnily enough. It's that unrelenting curiosity for a such wide array of subjects that made him so interesting and what amongst other things fueled his lust for life. All these things he shared with us and we, our interests and passions with him.

We celebrated his life with a fitting ceremony conducted by us, his children and one of his much loved sons in law, full of music and stories, photos and a riot of white flowers. Surrounded by the people who knew him and loved him best. It couldn't be more fitting for the passionate, elegant, vibrant, joyous, generous, beautiful, unique and most of all loving man that he was and I am so lucky and proud to call my Papa. When we drove behind him after the ceremony I thought about his life well lived and felt a sense of fulfillment. When we drove through a part of a nature reserve which they kindly closed for us so we could drive through it quietly, we passed all our favourite spots. Places where we would go for walks in the forest, look for chestnuts in the Autumn, feed the deer's and glide down the hill on our sleighs when it snowed, places he loved and where we have uncountable memories together. The sun shone brightly as it was setting behind the trees, just like on all those trips we made when we were young.

At the cemetery we carried him out of the car, the bell tolled as we walked and the sky was aglow. The moment I had dreaded was actually the not so dreadful after all, but peaceful. We carried him there until the very end and he embarked on his new journey like his beloved Caesars. As we walked with him I realised it was time to let go. Not of him but of the body that served him so well for nearly a century.  For he will live on in all of us. Through the love he shared with us and we with him. In the memories we made and cherish together, that is were he lives on, until the end of my days and beyond. Because that is the beauty of love. That is the meaning of love. Once a great love is shared between people it can never go away, it simply remains with us even when our time comes. I think that is the true legacy of people, to teach ourselves and others how to love one another.  

Per sempre,

Il tuo Fabio